FANFIC: One Chance
2 January 2012 11:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
cyanoscarletAdditional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Mutual Pining, Confession
(inspired by: "Nine Things" by MayukoMorita)
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Tseng had been staring at the blinking cursor on his laptop screen for the past two hours. He was supposed to start on new material for next year's first regular issue of the school paper, but no words came to mind. He also could not get around finalizing the one that's supposed to be published at the end of that week, since the articles have not yet been proofread. The continuous hammering of raindrops on the glass pane outside did not help to improve his concentration, either. The circumstances he was in pretty much left him with nothing to do, so he closed his laptop and got up from his desk for a short break.
Being a student journalist - and editor-in-chief of the school paper, no less - had its own perks. Having a circle of friends who all shared the same passion for writing was one. He was even able to reconnect with one of his old classmates because of this. Of course, there were also the occassional classes they "had to" miss to cover certain campus events. The fact that only badly-organized make-up lectures waited for them after each assignment didn't exactly do wonders for their grades, though. Fortunately, Tseng was the type of guy who always handles both academics and extracurriculars well, so that wasn't exactly his problem.
As Tseng filled his mug with water from the dispenser, he happened to glance at the mini-corkboard to his right. An assortment of post-its were stacked on it, the biggest of which read, "Proofreading deadline tomorrow!" It was written on a white letter-sized bond paper in red ink, all caps, and was positioned on the center of the board. A ghost of a smile graced his lips.
There was another reason why he was, in his words, "quite content with the job". Ever since he met and started working with Elena, their junior columnist and proofreader, his days seemingly became lighter and less taxing (not that he was overly stressed to begin with, anyway). Her bubbly personality and infectious laughter added life and color to their org room, and her equally-intense enthusiasm for her job made the late-night stretches before every publication somewhat more bearable. Tseng thought that these were more than enough reason for him to be thankful for her existence. As he started thinking of what he could do to show his appreciation, some of that morning's events crossed his mind, causing him to lose the good mood he was in just a few moments ago.
Tseng had passed by the lockers near the entrance of their building to gather some of his things. Elena was also there, having just arrived from her first class at the main edifice. He started towards her to ask her about paper-related matters, but even before he could, he saw her redhead classmate - Reno, he believed - suddenly put a shoulder around her and speak animatedly. His features slightly darkened. Lately, the redhead had been doing this whenever he had the chance. Elena was smiling and laughing, but he could tell that she wasn't exactly amused with the whole scenario - and neither was he. After their conversation ended and Reno left, he saw her quickly glance in his direction before walking away. At this point, Tseng remembered that he was suppposed to ask her something, but it was too late. Not like it really mattered, since he was supposed to know all publishing-related matters on his own.
Having finished his water, Tseng returned to his desk to set down the mug in his hand, after which he sauntered over to the mail boxes by the door to check for any new memos. It was back to business after the break, which was ruined after that unpleasant memory found its way into his train of thought. He could not understand why Reno's actions bothered him so much. The redhead and Elena knew each other better, being classmates and all. Also, it wasn't like he knew Elena any better, since they only meet twice a week for org matters. But he felt that he could never stand seeing other guys speaking with Elena that way again, much less touch her the way Reno just did. He also realized that he has always thought this way, but that, ironically, he was never consciously aware of it. Now that he was, he could never imagine what he would do if this particular episode repeated itself. He –
Tseng snapped his mailbox door shut. Calm down, he told himself. With a sigh, he wondered what was wrong with himself, going on a random mental spiel like that. This must be what being obsessed is like. He really should be doing better things than this. Better yet, he really should be taking a break - one that is, perhaps, more pleasant than the one he just had.
The editor-in-chief jerked his head to the door as he heard hurried footsteps approach, followed by a jingle of keys. Instantly returning to his senses, he left the memos he previously brought out on the nearest desk and opened the door for the newcomer. It was Aerith Gainsborough, their literary and features editor and his good friend, who looked like she had just been through a struggle to get there. She must have been caught in the downpour earlier, he mused. Nevertheless, he let her in, taking her wet flower basket and setting it by the electric fan.
"Thanks, Tseng." Aerith smiled, tucking some loose strands of hair behind her ear. She brought out a notebook and a damp face towel from her book bag and placed them on both ends of the basket, then turned back to face her friend. "Is everything ready for tomorrow?" Tseng shook his head.
"Elena isn't finished with the articles yet. I wasn't able to talk to her this morning." He paused, his eyes narrowing as if in deep thought. Aerith chuckled. "Did something happen this morning?" she inquired, although the look on her face showed that she already knew the answer to that question. Tseng did not answer, silently reaching for the memos instead. As he did, he happened to get a glimpse of the hallway through the glass windows, and he could have sworn he saw a flash of blond make its way across, then away from the office. And he knew that hairstyle all too well. The next thing he knew, he was trying to banish all thoughts of Elena looking hurt - or misunderstanding his relationship with Aerith, whichever was worse - from his mind. He was known by most as a calm and collected indivi-dual with a trademark no-nonsense, unreadable expression, but it looks like he'll have to practice being unreadable and keeping his thoughts in line more often than usual.
A gentle tap on his shoulder interrupted his thoughts, followed by the sound of his name. Tseng turned back to Aerith, mumbling a short apology as he did so. Her expression was the same from earlier. For some reason, his old friend seemed to have this special ability of always knowing what's on someone's mind, including him. And it looks like her powers were at work again.
"You should talk to her," she advised, looking out the window to the empty hallway. "Sometimes, being impassive can lead to misunderstanding." When he didn't respond, she continued. "I know being strictly professional with one's colleagues is a mandatory work ethic, but there are times when one must also express himself to keep a harmonious relationship with them."
Looking away from his friend, Tseng crossed his arms. What Aerith said was true; he knew that much. But this was different. It wasn't easy to talk about his particular... predicament. Maybe he was the only one feeling obsessive over the idea of Reno and Elena together. Just because he held special feelings for Elena didn't mean that she also did for him. Yes, there were times that she would talk of him so highly, but anyone could easily see that it was merely out of respect and admiration, which led to the next point - he was superior to her in their organizational hierarchy. He'd actually forgotten this particular detail in the jumbled thoughts occupying his mind that day. It just wasn't right to talk to her like some lovestruck guy next door, for it could affect their working relationship. He had a reputation and many expectations to uphold. Besides, doing such would probably get him in more trouble instead - the faculty, the student council, everyone else... But if he talked to her as a person, and not as her boss, could he have a better chance at pulling it off?
"Just tell her how you feel, Tseng," Aerith encouraged further, as if she read his thoughts. "I... don't think you have anything to lose." Again, she smiled knowingly, making him feel a lot better for some reason. A beeping sound directed both pairs of eyes to the digital clock on the desk they were currently occupying, as well as the desktop planner beside it. Tomorrow's date was encircled in red. It was a Friday - their deadline for the pending school paper, as well as the last day of regular classes for most of the student body. (All university-wide organizational officers had a year-end meeting and several make-up classes on Saturday.) A faint smile spread across Tseng's face as he intently stared at the encircled date.
Taking this as the end of the conversation, Aerith reached out and held her friend's arm, silently wishing him luck. After a few moments of silence, both editors split the memos between them and discussed work-related matters for the next thirty minutes, after which they gathered their things and left the office. In the end, Elena never dropped in for the day, but Tseng did not mind much. There was still tomorrow, but he'd have to be careful not to mess it up. He had only one chance to get this right.
Tseng flicked open the lights at his area in the org room. The other staffers had afternoon to early evening classes on Fridays, so he was always the first to arrive - or so he thought. A legal-sized, transparent, expandable plastic envelope was on his desk, containing all the proofread articles and a hastily-written note of apology from Elena, saying that she would not be able to help him with any other org activities that day since she had a few other academic matters to attend to first, and that she would definitely make it next time. The editor-in-chief studied the note, feeling quite disappointed with the unlucky circumstance. He would just have to wait patiently until after the Christmas break to settle the matter. Still, a small part of him held on to a flicker of hope that things would somehow turn around, and that he'd be able to end everything before the year ends. Shrugging those thoughts off, he absentmindedly reached for a pen and turned the note to the reverse side to jot down some reminders.
The lights flickered, then returned to normal. Tseng instinctively looked up, as if trying to figure out what was wrong, then looked back at the piece of paper in his hand. He started tapping the desk with his ballpen, having forgotten what he was going to write. As he stared at the note as he tried to recall, his eyes widened in surprise. He seemed to be in shock for a moment, but then recovered, his features now melting into a seemingly relieved and happy expression. There was also something written on the back of the note - something which he did not expect at all, given all his hopeless musings the previous day.
It was labeled as "Nine Things I Want to Say to Tseng, But Can't". The person in question chuckled. Definitely Elena's handwriting. This must be a part of her personal journal. In her haste, she must have used the first piece of paper she could find to write the apology note that morning, then placed it in the envelope with the other articles. Part of him wanted to stop reading, since it was not just an invasion of privacy, but also a forbidden reading of a girl's heart. But the curiosity over what the proofreader thought of him overtook the self-control, and he read on.
1) I like you a lot.
Her obvious admiration for him was no surprise to the staffers - though, of course, he felt genuinely happy whenever she, of all people, complimented him.
2) I hate it that you don't care that Reno's flirting with me.
But he does. Take yesterday, for instance... Well, at least he wasn't the only one. It wasn't his imagination, after all.
3) I like your hair. Can I touch it?
It was a custom from his homeland for males to grow their hair out up to some extent. Everyone else thought it was weird, but he was pleasantly surprised she liked it.
4) You have beautiful eyes.
Something he inherited from the family. He never paid attention. He thought the tilak on his forehead attracted more attention from the students than his facial features.
5) You have a great smile.
At this, Tseng smiled. He rarely did, and if he did so, it would only be for a fleeting moment. He didn't think anyone other than his close friends would catch him do so.
6) You're the hottest guy I've ever seen.
He did a double-take. This compliment would be more suited for someone with Reno's hair, unless she meant it in a different way. Or unless black is the new 'hot'.
7) I hate it that you like Aerith.
A slight frown. Elena did misunderstand. Since high school, he and Aerith have been close, but not in that way. This is one thing he'd have to clear up when they meet again.
8) You belong with me. Don't you know that?
Now he knew. He'd known all along. He pretty much believed it was the other way around, though. And he was an idiot for thinking that.
9) I love you.
...
By now, everything was clear to him. His feelings, his fears, and now, her apparent response. Although his face didn't show it, Tseng was still in wonder at how things have progressed this fast in a day, and was still trying to take it all in. Though he still found himself blinking repeatedly and checking the back of the note at times, he was sure enough that he wasn't dreaming all this up. And to make sure to ground everything in his mind into reality, he picked up his pen and wrote on the paper.
The small flicker of hope had turned into a beacon of light. His one chance has finally presented itself, and he will do this right, if it's the last thing he'd do.
In the couple of hours that he spent in the office, Tseng was able to finalize publication plans for the proofread issue, and was able to come up with ideas for the next one. He was quite satisfied, having accomplished much that day compared to yesterday. He'd kept the note he got from Elena in his desk drawer, planning to give it to her, and probably have a talk with her, when they meet again - probably next year, if not on Saturday. He got up from his desk and went to the dispenser with mug in hand, only to find it empty. He sighed. He'd have to go out to the cafeteria to buy a bottle of water. It wasn't like he had a choice in the first place - the dispenser will not automatically refill itself, and he'd had enough climbs, drops and loops for the day, thank the heavens very much. He closed his laptop, got his wallet and the office key, and headed out.
He ran into Elena on the way to the cafeteria. So much for not asking for the sudden drop. But he'd promised himself to get this over with, so he called out to her.
"Why? Was there something wrong with my article?" Her expression was as if she expected adverse reactions with her column this time. It was an article on sexism, and although some of her statements were a bit... radical, the work was still within the general limits of what a student writer could put in the paper without getting in serious trouble. That, and for some reason, he felt the anger and lack of caffeine that somewhat fueled Elena to finish this column, but he brushed it aside.
"No. I just need to talk to you." His tone was as enigmatic as ever. If Aerith was good at reading minds, he was equally good at being unreadable. And right now, the poor girl looked like she had absolutely no idea of what would take place. He motioned for her to follow him, and they made their way back to the org room, with Tseng leading the way and Elena fidgeting behind him, as much as she tried hard to hide it.
Upon arriving back at the paper office, the editor-in-chief asked for her to wait by his desk, as he rummaged through his desk drawer for the handwritten piece of paper that would either strengthen or destroy their relationship. It had taken quite a few minutes to do so, but he finally found it in between the pages of his notebook planner. As soon as he held it up, the proofreader's expression changed from that of anxiety to horror. From this, Tseng could tell that the reverse side was something he shouldn't have known all along - that she'd been looking for it for quite some time, and that it had fallen into the wrong hands, of all the things that could happen. He bit his lower lip. Wrong move.
Tseng frantically thought of how to begin the conversation. "I think you had this mixed up with the other articles," he started, handing the piece of paper to Elena. He had hoped she would read it, but instead, she instantly pocketed it, looking extremely embarrassed. He was about to say more when she suddenly interjected. "Oh, r-really? Um, sorry about that." She was obviously panicking, though she was trying to remain as cool as possible.
"It's fine," he reassured her, although he was trying to assure himself that things wouldn't go downhill from here. He was praying hard, in fact. But before he got to say anything else, Elena calmly yet quickly took her leave. The second she closed the door, he could hear her running footsteps getting weaker by the second. After he could hear them no more, Tseng returned to his desk and closed the drawer with force, very much frustrated at what just happened. He didn't get to explain himself at all. Moreover, he unexpectedly hurt and humiliated her, though this was not his intention in the slightest.
He slapped his right hand on his forehead. Damn. He had just wasted his one chance, and things didn't look so bright after all that. It wasn't like he could do anything to remedy the situation now; now he'd really have to wait for next year to talk to her again - hopefully, she'd have cooled down by then. He panned his eyes around his area until they finally rested on his closed laptop. For now, work came first. Whatever he could finish now could help him forget the stupid situation he'd gotten himself into, as well as how insensitive he was.
After quite some time of immersing himself into his job, Tseng could hear quick footsteps approaching the org room, the quick turn of the knob and the door slamming after that. He looked up from his work, mentally noting that he should remember to lock the door next time. Then he swore that the fates must be very, very fickle indeed.
Elena was before him once again, still panting from her sprint back to the office. He instantly stood up, wanting to approach her - to apologize, to explain himself, to say just anything. But no words came forth, and both staffers stared at each other for a long time until she finally broke the silence. "Your sentences don't have periods." Her tone of voice was a bit admonishing, but still full of understanding and joy. At first, Tseng was a bit surprised at her opening statement, but he quickly recovered as he remembered the earlier events. He'd banked on the proofreader in her to point it out. One would think that for him, as editor-in-chief, to do such is very unthinkable. But it didn't matter, for at the time he'd written those responses, he wasn't a school paper head - he was a person. A man in love.
He opened his arms as Elena quickly made her way across the desks and embraced her tightly. He gazed lovingly into her teary eyes, trying to reassure her that everything was all right. "I'm sorry," he whispered to her. "I should have told you sooner."
"Idiot," she murmured, running her fingers through his hair, then put her arms around his neck and pressed her lips onto his. Tseng wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her back. When they broke apart, Elena beamed at him. "I love you," she told him, quoting the ninth statement on her list. Tseng smiled at her - this time, giving her a genuine one, telling himself that she alone is the only one allowed to see it. The heavens have favored him in the end, even after all that happened, and he was very much thankful for that.
"I love you," he responded to Elena, quoting his response, before leaning in again to kiss her. As he did, a thought crossed his mind. So she did notice.
